Royally Screwed
by author formerly known as Jen
Summary: Little did i know that our road trip that it was planned to go in a different direction. We found oursevles in a magical releam, and we are loving it. I can't wait til schools starts.


Royally Screwed

Chapter 1: The Landing

"**God I hate** that job," said Jennifer Halstrom as she unlocks her mid-90s black Cavalier. She opens the driver's side door and unties the strings attached to her blue

Slater's Great American grocery store apron. She jumps into the driver's seat and tosses the apron on the passenger side seat. Her cell phone rings. I pull my cell phone from my back pocket. It was Alina. Alina Santiago was one of my best friends. She was probably calling about the road trip.

"Hey," I said casually. "Hey! Can't wait for the trip! Did you get off of work yet?" Bingo.

"Yeah, thank God I won't see that hell-hole for three weeks."

"I hear ya."

"Well I'm gonna stop home, toss my shit in the car, say good-bye to mom and dad, and I'll come pick you up."

"Alrighty see ya in a few."

"Yup." I hung up the phone and placed it in the cup holder. Alina and I are going on a road trip down to Tennessee and all the states it takes to get there. That's quite a handful of states when you live in New York. I started the car, pulled out of the parking lot and sped down Main Street, with Jim Morrison's voice pouring out of my speakers.

I pulled into my driveway singing along, "When you're strange, no one remembers your name...when you're strange, when you're strange, when you're...strange." I parked my car, near the back door. I grabbed my apron from the passenger seat and walked inside. I walked into the living room and was greeted by my father who was watching, of course 'the most exciting sport known to man'. Golf.

"Hey, dad." "Hey, getting ready to get right on the road?" "Yuppers." "Alright, the kids are gone!" I grinned. My dad looked kind of funny sitting in his recliner, smoking his pipe with his ancient brown slippers on, twirling his finger in the air. I turned and walked up the step into my kitchen, where a red-headed Susan Halstrom was making sandwiches. "Hey, mom. Did you get my money out of my account? "Yeah, it's on your dresser." I marched into my room and picked up the bank envelope that was on my dresser. I pulled the crisp bills out and counted to see if the full fifteen hundred dollars was there. It was. I placed the bills carefully in my wallet. No purses for me. I through the straps of my two duffle bags over my shoulder and lugged the load to the car. Mom and dad came out of the house to see me off as I shoved the bags in the trunk.

I got in the car, mom shouted "Be careful" as I pulled out. Mom was worried about us. We were two sixteen-year-old girls going on a three week road trip, why wouldn't she be worried. I glanced at the digital clock as I pulled on to route twenty-three. It was twelve thirty. The early after-noon sun glared directly in my face as I drove. Sunglasses are a great invention. I pulled into Alina's driveway she was outside waiting with her mother. I didn't shut off the car as I got out to greet them. "Hey!" "Hey, Jen how's it going," asked Margaret, Alina's mother. "It's going great...now" "Good." "Are you ready to go," I said as I glanced down at Alina. Alina was about five foot three, I was a good two, three inches taller. She had also dyed her hair red, but her hair had large curls that fit her round face oh so well. "Yeah!" "Alright lets book!"

I opened the trunk and shoved her bags in the trunk. We hopped in the car. Margaret came around to the passenger side window; she kissed Alina's forehead, "Be careful now." "Yup, will do!" With that she stepped away from the car and I put it in reverse and did a three-point turn to get back out on to twenty-three. Alina didn't have as much of a love for the classic rock as I did, so a flicked on the radio. The radio blasted that great AC/DC hit, 'Highway to Hell'. Alina and I glanced at each other and shouted, "Final destination two! We're all gonna die!!!" We burst into laughter. This was one of our many inside jokes, please don't ask. Or better yet watch the damn movie. As soon as we heard the lines to the second verse, 'No stop signs, speed limit. Nobody's gonna slow me down...'a large funnel of blinding white light appeared on the road.

It was too sudden, I couldn't slow down fast enough. As we moved closer and closer I felt like I was completely blind, and I had contacts on, the only thing I could do was hold the brakes and scream. The car kept go faster and faster. It felt as if we were getting sucked into the back of a giant fan. No matter how hard I was pressing on the brake we kept going and going, and at one point I swear we were in suspension. As we rolled into was seems like our final resting place the light vanished all most a suddenly as it came. When I was finally able to see again, the view wasn't better from the other side of the rabbit hole. Alina was pointing straight ahead of us, "JEN LOOK OUT FOR THE WALL!!!"

There was a large stone wall directly in front of us. I slammed two feet down extremely hard on the brakes. We came to a halt in ten feet of the stonewall. My heart was racing, and my hands were shaking furiously as I gripped the wheel. After a few minutes of the comforting silence of heavy breathing, Alina turns to look at me and asks the obvious question, "Are you gonna be okay?" I took a deep breath, "Yeah, you?" "I'll live." We giggled, a little. "Now where the hell are we?" "I don't know you're the one driving." She grinned. Wise-ass. I reached for the door handle and turned my head back towards the window. As I did I saw a cloaked man leaning in my window, I shrinked back. Alina turned her head and saw the same sight of the strange man. He was dressed in black robes and cloaks; he had a blank unreadable face, unusually long jet-black hair, a hooked nose and he held a menacing glint in his eyes. He tapped one of his long pale-yellow fingers on the clear glass. His appearance was oddly familiar. I looked to Alina for a sign of what to do. Her eyes widen and she shrugged. I slowly started to roll down the window and stopped about half-way,

"What do you want?" The man raises one of his dark eyebrows, with a look of pure displeasure, "As you are in a predicament of uncertain consequences, it would be prudent of you to continue the day with your mouth closed, as it will get you in...sticky...situations..." Alina bursts into laughter, my right eye twitched slightly. "Good advice," my lips curled into a sarcastic grin, "I'm afraid I don't have the ability to take it." So, it tis a duel of wits you want, eh? "I don't have the time for such...foolishness..."

The sword is drawn back into its sheath, put away to fight another day. Alina's laughter finally came to a halt. "Well if you don't have the time then why the hell are tapping on my window?" The man seemed to be amused by the question, it was then it hit me. I knew that face, I knew that dark demeanor. It couldn't be. It seemed impossible to even consider it. I turned to Alina. Her face reeked of shock and realization. She knew too. We turned our heads back to the man. His facial expression seemed to answer the question for us. No words needed. This man is Severus Snape. Alina and I looked at each other jaw dropped and wide-eyed. We looked back at the supposed Severus Snape, "You can't be him, he's a fictional character."

"To whom?"

"To practically the whole world."

"Well I cannot help that the world is filled with idiots who believe only what they are told, but a can assure you that I am real and to further prove my existence I strongly suggest that you step out of your vehicle and view the world around you."

With that Alina and I stepped out of my car. We looked straight ahead at the stonewall that was going to help us meet our maker. The wall was actually part of a castle will tall turrets and towers. The Hogwarts castle. I looked at Alina from across the top of the car, "Alina, I'm I dreaming?"

"Let's find out." She marched around the car and punched me in the arm. Pain. "Nope, not dreaming."

We looked at Snape, he was rather tall, I would say about six foot even, or maybe a little under. Alina and I looked Snape up and down his tall, slender and dark body. She and I were thinking the same thing. Damn he's fine! This will get interesting. We quickly turned around when Snape gave us the famous 'what the hell' raised eyebrow. What we saw was the picturesque Hogwarts landscape. The calm black glass lake, Hagrid's hut near the edge of the dark, dense Forbidden Forest and the significantly angry Whomping Willow.

Only in my wildest and heh...naughtiest dreams had this world been real. I breathed in the air to capture the essence of this magical realm. The air smelt like rain wrapped in hibiscus flowers. I spun in the scent as the moonlight outlined my body with a silver shine. Alina seemed to be doing the same. I continued to spin in ecstasy that is until I felt a tap on my shoulder. I opened my eyes to find them looking at a rather annoyed professor. I noticed he had also tapped Alina out of dreamland too. "As I said I do not have time for teenaged nonsense and if you'll please follow me to the castle." I looked to Alina we wore a devilish grin.

We were thinking the same thing...again. We responded in unison, "We would follow you anywhere." Snape mumbled something that sounded a lot like 'bloody children' and he turned around and marched up towards the castle. We followed giggling all the way up to the oak doors. Snape opened the doors revealing the castle's entrance hall. It looked very similar to the ones portrayed in the movie and the video games. We made our way up the entrance hall staircase and proceeded to the grand staircase. Our ascent of the stairs halted at the third floor. We passed the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom and a few armored soldiers to find ourselves standing in front of a stone gargoyle that led to Dumbledore's office.

"Fizzing Whizbee," said Snape. The gargoyle leapt aside; the wall behind it split in two to reveal a spinning spiral staircase. The three stepped on the moving stone, the wall behind them shut. I felt trapped. Joy, the claustrophobia sets in. They moved in tight rising circles that is until they reached a large oak door with a brass knocker shaped like a griffin. Snape knocked on the door. I was about to meet Albus Dumbledore!!! WEEE!!!!!!

The door swung open Snape walked into the office with Alina and I in tow. Professor Dumbledore sat in his high-backed chair behind his large office desk. He sat with his fingers laced together his snowy-white beard followed over his royal blue and gold dressing gown. Of course it was half-passed mid-night. I wasn't a bit tired; well there is twelve hour gap in time between New York State and England. Whatever. We took a seat in the two straight-back chairs in front of Dumbledore's desk, Snape leaned against a nearby wall, arm folded a crossed his chest. Dumbledore's bright blue eyes stared at us from behind his trademark crescent moon eye-glasses, "Good evening, or rather good morning, I trust your journey was a safe one."

"Oh, yeah almost speeding into a stonewall is exactly how we wanted to discover the wizarding world," said Alina sarcastically.

"I'm so very sorry about that..." "No biggie, we're alive it's in the past," I interrupted.

"Good, good...then I assume you have many questions for me." "Yeah, don't you think," I began.

"First off, if this is an actual real place, why is J.K. Rowling exposing it to the public?"

Dumbledore stared at us with a look of an amusement, "J.K. Rowling is a witch, who is writing the story of the life of Harry Potter and exposing it to the muggles. Why does the wizarding world allow this?"

Dumbledore paused. "Simply if the muggles believe that J. K. Rowling pulled the wizarding world from her own imagination they will not go looking for it."

"Whoa that's good idea."

"No kidding," said Alina as she sighs and shakes her head at me. She does that a lot, especially when I'm around.

"Okay so you're saying everything in the books is real?"

"Yes, but it is possible that she may have twisted the story."

"Now that that matter has been cover, let us move on...you shall be taken to Diagon Alley tomorrow to pick up your school things..."

"Wait," said Alina in an excited tone, "We're going to school...we're going to school here!?!?"

"Well I though that was obvious," said Snape from the wall. Alina

and I squealed with excitement. Snape and Dumbledore exchanged questionable looks. "Wait a second," I turned from Alina back to Dumbledore, "I thought you had to start school here at eleven or you've missed out?" "There are exceptions, especially in this case."

"Does that mean we have to start as first years?" Alina slaps herself in the face. Oh yeah she does that too...mostly around me. "No it does not, you will be starting in the sixth year, extra lessons will be held for the two of you after the regular classes." Alina and I squealed again. We get to be in the same year as Harry, Ron, Hermione and Draco! WOOT!!! There is a God!!!

"What about our parents, and the rest of our stuff," asked Alina. "Your parents have been notified and your things are on they're way." Shit. I left my car on the grounds. "What about my car, I left it on the grounds?"

"Ah, yes we have housing for your vehicle on the grounds I would ask you if you could put it inside...Severus would you kindly show the young ladies where their vehicle is to be placed." Snape stood up and walked to the door, "And Severus after that's been done could you show them to there room."

"Yes, headmaster." Snape opened the door and we followed him out. When we made our way back down to the grounds I pulled out my keys, hopped in the driver's seat and started her up. On the way down Snape had told me to envision my garage and that it would appear, he said that the garage was like number twelve Grimmauld Place, seems easy enough. Snape pointed me in a direction that was dangerously close to the Whomping Willow. Fun, fun, fun. I slowly pulled the car towards the hands- er – sticks?- of the Whomping Willow. The tree began to fail its...branches in my direction.

I pushed the gas a little harder, and began to concentrate on my garage. I started to see a vague outline of my garage. I looked up at the impending doom that was the Whomping Willow. It waved its branches violently in the air. I understand why Ron was afraid, but it's just a damn tree if it hits the gas line I'll park that baby close enough to burn the fucker down. I kept on driving close to the garage that was growing more and more solid.

The branches went for the car, but I was ready...I floored it. The Willow's branches tried to smash the car like it was the mole in the wack-a-mole game. I made in the garage without a scratch. As a stepped out of my car a smelt the smell of burnt rubber...goody. Oh well I had to get new tries anyway. I closed the garage door and stepped out on to the lip.

Now here's the $1,000,000 question. How the hell am I going to get back to Alina and Snape without getting flayed by the poster tree for anger management? Option # 1; run like hell and hope to God I make it. Option # 2; pull out my lighter and try fight with fire. Option # 3; try to go around the tree. Let's go with # 3. I walked as far away from the tree as the lip would allow, the tree really couldn't reach the garage but still. The tree froze for a moment. I went for it. I ran a wide circle around the tree. The tree sprang to life. Failing its branches in my direction I ran like there was no tomorrow. I made it, clean. Yay for that. Snape made a low 'hmmm' said. "So, how'd I do?" "Fairly well, considering...," said Snape. "You, bet!" "However," he continued, "If you would have let me stop the Willow's movement the job would have been less dangerous." Alina looked from me to Snape and bursted into laughter. "Shut up!" I hit Alina in the shoulder, she just laughed harder. Snape looked amused; smart-ass.

After that we were introduce to the 'house.' For the rest of the day Alina and I explored the magical world that only existed in books, movies, video games and in our minds; this shit was real. That night Alina and I couldn't sleep; too much excitement. We ended up watching some movies; Fight Club (a kick ass movie, literally!), Monty Python and the Holy Grail (Great Brit flick), and Army of Darkness (an indescribable film of awesomeness! Groovy! Good, Bad, I'm the guy with the gun!!!).


End file.
